“Since I’ve been loving you” is playing. That slow beginning takes over the room and my skin like your tender kiss.
I wish you were here.
All of my words and thoughts feel like wasted energy that I could spend devoted touching you. But then I remember, to these emotions there are no boundaries that can contain them. Time and Space have their own way of spreading and travelling far from where I stand towards you. Even if I can’t see you.
Your essence has its own intelligence, it manages to find me everytime. I see you everywhere, specially before sunset when all those shades of blue concentrate to remind me of your gaze. Sparkling with desire, asking to be read, to be understood without words in between, without questions to which such abstractions could never provide the answers to how I got to discover the song of your existence and how it took me through out many mysteries, many stories written in the skies telling me we could be one.
So I watch pure desire growing inside that dusty vault of memories, that I didn’t dare to open. But amongst the scary voices, there was your scent luring me to dive into the darkness surrounding the promise of finding that your beautiful eyes made of light would lead the way. You kept calling until I gathered enough strength, the arms of uncertainty pulled me in. I swallowed the danger and saw you across the thick ice. I realised we were worlds apart.
That’s when I understood that to love you I had to remain at peace with the distance between us. And the many turns Earth must take to be beside you. But then again fate surprises me and there you are when my eyes are closed and my defenses abandoned. I find you close to the river undressing from your worries tossing out your clothing like unfulfilled expectations that don’t serve you anymore. Exposed to the elements, confortable in your solitude. I see a window big enough to pass through with my heavy bag of desires to share with you. You turn around, I’m not sure that you know my face but I know you recognise me. My anxious self tries to tell you all about this need of your presence that has been growing into a language that can’t possibly be translated in anything but love.
I get lost trying to find the right words, I fear time is slipping away and you could vanish any moment in the middle of my confusion. But with just one look you find to bring me back to sanity. You hold my hand, calmly leading me into the waters. As soon as you step in the river turns green it glows and beams like it is alive. Like this whole place knows you.
Then I realise it is your world I’m entering guided by your hand it is you who allows me in. I drop my insecurities and any necessity to speak. Touch becomes our language. I feel you and you feel me
We lay down over the sand this glowing water cover us, it becomes our blanket, bounds us together and provides me with your essence. Your kiss, your breath mutate to become my sustenance. So I can remain next to you under these warm waters flowing endlessly around the many trees that dance along side the wind.
Floating, admiring the view. I figure it is you I’m observing. You are the birds singing, you are the wind carresing me, the sand is the color of your skin. It all feels so alive and deep because it is your creation I was invited in. Then again I try to find perfect words or perfect timing that does not exist to tell you what you make me feel.