I sense myself slowly drifting away trying to make sense of that which does not need to be rationalized. With such tenderness you laugh at my concern. You say—This isn’t just my creation it is a place for the two of us created long ago. Today it looks like a river flowing beyond what our eyes can see, tomorrow, it could be a huge mountain to be conquered by our witts and by our desire to go further than here, than now.
What else do you know?
You laugh—That’s the thing, the comfort of not knowing brought me here. It is unusual that I take the time to listen to this strange calling. Like a wave that rises big and mighty over the horizon, when it gets to shore it is barely a third of what it was. But, does it mean it is any less or insignificant? that question somehow got intertwined with your voice, calling my name. It opened a window very similar to the one from which you came in here. I needed to be alone, so I explored the site, can’t say for how long. There’s no such thing here. But when I was finally sure, ready to taste the water, I saw you ready to hold my hand and I knew.
Comeback with me. So I can contemplate your figure resting on my bed, capturing my senses, filling me up with inspiration. Like when my guitar sits by the corner whispering a sweet melody inviting me to play it. But I know better than that. I can feel my desperation trying to hold on to one static feeling, risking to hold you hostage, trying to rest assured that you are mine. Catching you as my muse, spreading everything you mean to me in the form of letters, paintings and portraits over my walls. But here, in this eternal now, the real you is the one that comes and goes leaving me out in the cold so I can feel your warmth anew. Like a blind person seeing colors for the first time, like getting back my breath after almost being drowned.
Just like that I know it is time to go. Your soft hand going through my hair, releases my fear. You grab my face and look at me with the sincerity of a child and the confidence of an old soul that has known many paths. You say—There is no way I can forget what is in here. This Í can call reality. It made an imprint in my memory that can’t be erased. Not by the dangers of everyday life nor by the doubts that eat us at the other side. Even if standing there I find these soon to be memories are too good to be true. Your kind of touch is something I’ve always long for, now I can call that by your name, my mind will resist but my heart won’t.
I know I’ll go back.
I know I’ll remember every detail
I know I will still taste your sweetness
I know I’ll see the vanishing mark of your lips on my neck
I will do my best to avoid despair taking over me.
I’ve seen the real you.
The one that feeds life into everything you touch, including myself. I’ll write the melody of this moment and play it everywhere I go until your being perceives it, hoping it would spark a minimum insight to what we’ve experienced here. If you forget my name there will always be the music that carries the key to this special place of ours of our hearts combined.